Birthdays!

Today is my birthday! Now, usually I’m not as excited about this event because for the past six years my birthdays have included: getting in a cat fight with a random girl, being broken up with, getting sick, and just not being that into it. But this year is different. I can feel it. This morning I woke up and the BF presented me with his grand plan of getting me a kitty. We’re picking it out on Saturday and I’m so excited! I’ve never owned an animal except for fish. I’ve been trying for years now to keep plants alive to no avail so let’s hope I do better with the little feral creature.

Last night I went to my first trivia night in the East Village. It was loads of fun and we came in 4th, though it was not due to any help from me. My main move was to nod my head when my team members wrote down an answer, saying “yes, yes it’s definitely that!” I think I actually only really knew one answer. But it was definitely fun and I ran into a friend of mine I used to work with. I’ve been running into people in my neighborhood lately and it’s so nice to start developing a sense of community, which I definitely didn’t have in Queens.

The rest of the week is going to be crazy- tonight is mechanical bull riding for my birthday, Friday night is a Zombie High Party (complete with a zombie school bus), Saturday is an important callback, Sunday is Easter at my place, and Monday is my first improv performance. I’m just loving and living life to the fullest right now. Alrighty, I need to go memorize 30 pages of dialogue for my callback before tonight’s shenanigans begin. Oh, and the weather gods are on my side today! It was snowing yesterday but today it is gorgeous out!

Its a small world after all

It is a small freakin world. Occasionally I will run into (quite literally) people I went to highschool with which is bizarre since I’m from another state, but that seems to happen to everyone in New York. I guess when you jam 8 million people onto a tiny island, you’re bound to run into one another.

Today, I went in for my second photo shoot with a very talented photographer that I’m using to help build my modeling portfolio. I’m in the studio talking to the photographer when I hear a sweet German voice coming from the dressing room. I glance down and see shoes that somehow look familiar. No, it couldn’t be. I shrug off the thought and continue talking to the photographer. All of a sudden I hear the little German voice exclaim, “E?” It was C! My oldest friend in the city who made her debut in this blog only days ago for her surprise birthday party.

C and I met over two years ago while acting in a film where we bonded over freezing our asses off while wearing summer clothing in 20 degree weather. We’ve been friends ever since. It was so funny to see C there shooting with the same photographer, but somewhat familiar and comforting. It’s nice to know that we’re doing the same things and on similar pages with our careers.

Okie doke, I can’t write anymore right now because the BF distracted me by moving some of my papers, which somehow escalated into a huge fight. I always rolled my eyes when people said things about arguing over dirty socks but when you live in such a tight space with someone, conflicts are bound to happen. I need a house. But right now I really need a bath to relax and get all this makeup from my shoot off my face. And BF, if you’re reading this- I heart you hardcore. Xx

PS- My rash is gone :)

Rash???

I have a weird rash on my neck. At first I thought it was from the BF because he and I are literally allergic to one another. Whenever we embrace we subsequently have rashes for the next 20 minutes. But this rash has stayed with me for the past three hours. And I think I may see a tinge of it on my arm. My sternum has been cracking as well. I know I am the biggest hypochondriac ever but I can’t help thinking that something may be deathly wrong. Did I pick something up when I shared that person’s beer bottle? Did I get a weird disease when my friend P drunkenly picked me up and threw me over his shoulder which resulted in us both tumbling down onto a wet NYC street? Did I develop a sudden allergic reaction to (gasp) pizza? Or even worse, alcohol?

Yes, I know I’m a hypochondriac. Last year I went to the doctor because I thought I had a staph infection on my face, only to discover it was a blemish. I’ve had every stomach test known to man done and nothing has turned up. But then there are times, like when I was worried about a few moles when something does turn up. So this is freakin me out. And I have a photoshoot tomorrow which is not going to go well if I have a rash all over my body. If you all don’t hear from me within the week then someone please break into my apartment to make sure I haven’t become fish food.

Contentedness

(This is what happens on a Saturday night when construction workers leave wet pavement in the East Village and E coerces others to leave their mark. )

This weekend was a crazy blur of fun and constructiveness. I picture wrapped my film late Friday night and am sad to be finished with the project. But as I was riding back into Manhattan from set, I took one look at the city skyline glowing in the pitch black sky and a profound happiness set into my soul. I took a deep breath and sighed contentedly. I’m living my dream right now. I’m an actress in New York City, one of the best cities in the world. When I was little, I never dreamed about being rich and famous (ok, maybe I did some of the time,) but what I really dreamed about was living the life of an artist in New York. Sure, I don’t have a lot of money, sure I still consider Mac & Cheese to be an extremely satisfying meal, but I am living my dream. Lately I have not been as stressed about my future- I’m just going to keep doing what I’m doing and let the wind blow me in whichever direction the leaves are inspired to take me.

Saturday I had an audition for a TV series which I think went pretty well. I had a bit of a revelation about film/TV acting during one of my past ambien induced hallucinations and I’ve actually been feeling a lot better about my acting ever since. Saturday night was my good friend, C’s surprise birthday party. It was very cool to see C shocked to see so many people she loved in the same room at the same time. She had been bummed because she thought we all forgot about her birthday which made it even sweeter.

Then on Sunday, I had an awesome photoshoot in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Walking around Williamsburg on a Sunday afternoon is nothing short of awesome- artists thrive there. There were people selling books, paintings, jewelry, and singing and playing the drums throughout the street. The loft I shot in was AMAZING. Light was pouring in from every angle with a view of the East River below. After my shoot, I made my way over to a chocolate bar for another good friend, LL’s birthday. There have been a lot of birthdays this month and mine is THIS THURSDAY, so the BF has a lot to live up to! Hint hint, BF.

All in all, I have to say I am very content right now. And if nothing else, at least my initials will forever be immortalized on a little patch of sidewalk in the great East Village.

The 'rents

This week has proven to be very busy and eventful, but surprisingly, perhaps the most calming aspect of it was a visit from my parents. I've moved around the world by myself so many times, that I learned to put my family and best friends in a little pocket and shove them into a remote corner of my mind so I don't miss them too terribly. I think that by doing this however, I ended up missing them even more. Seeing my Mom and Dad in New York City did not feel out of place at all. It seemed like they almost belonged, which is pretty ironic since my Mom grew up on a farm. But then again, the BF grew up in the country too and he loves the city. It just felt so right to have a missing piece of me here in the city that I so love.

I hadn't realized until my parents left, how lonely NYC can be. I am so close to so many people around the world, and yet I haven't seen some of them in years. I value my independence and ability to make friends anywhere, but continuing relationships with past friends on only a keyboard and mouse just isn't as satisfying as being physically present. This is the life I chose though, and one day I hope to have the means to visit everyone whenever I like.

On another note, I had a blast filming all day yesterday and am excited to go back to set this evening. I love the entire cast and crew of my film. I did however, completely sunburn my face while waiting for my scene to be shot. Now, there will probably be two random scenes in the movie where I have a bright red face, lol. Opps! Sorry S! S, the makeup artist warned me not to get too comfy in the sun . . . maybe I should start listening to people :)

I know how to be Angry!

I just had the weirdest audition. The audition itself, I thought went well, though I’m pretty sure it was being run by the mafia. I thought I had a pretty good reading and left the building, hopping down the stairs and into the street. One of the producers then proceeded to chase me into the street yelling in a very Tony Soprano voice, “E, step aside! We need to tawk.” Oh ok! This conversation then ensued:

Mafia Producer: I like ya, I like yur look and I think you’d be great. But I need you to do something fur me. I need you to email the director and tell him you want to come in and audition again. Because you needed to be angrier in the scene.

Me: Oh, um, well I can go back in and do that right now if you’d like.

MP: (In Tony’s best condescending tone) Hunny, you should’ve done that when you were in there.

Me: Oh. Usually people ask actors to make adjustments when they’re in the audition room.

MP: Just please email him. Because I can’t pick ya even though I wanna. (holds up his hand) Hit me.

Me: What?

MP: Hit me!

Me: I’ve hit men before, I know how to be angry. (All of you reading this who know me personally, stop laughing now!)

MP: I said hit me!

Me: Ok! (I proceed to slap his hand.)

MP: Again!

Me: (Now I’m kinda pissed) Fine! (I slap the sh*t out of his hand)

MP: That it! Did you see that? That’s it!

And then the Mafia Producer exits as quickly as he came.


What just happened?!?!?! Anyone? Anyone?!?!

I'm off to my next audition. Hopefully this one will be more normal, though that's doubtful as it's about a sex addicted dominatrix. We shall see.

(btw, since I am writing about auditions and I don’t want certain people to know, if you do know me personally and want to comment, please don’t use my real name. But please comment! Thanks ya’ll!)

Control

This detox isn’t working. I have no self control. I’ve only been doing it for a few hours and I already broke down and drank a cup of coffee. I feel like I have little control with any part of my life right now.

I have so much passion and so much ambition and I just don’t know where to put it all. I’m doing all or the “right” things. I’m going to agent seminars, taking classes with casting directors, and inviting agents to all of my shows. The problem is that they a) aren’t looking for new clients at the moment, b) already have 5 clients of my “type”, and c) don’t come to any of the shows. I need to start thinking outside the box. Hmm, perhaps I can stand outside of an agent’s building and start screaming my monologue?

It’s not that I’m not getting work- I am. And I love every second of all the acting jobs I’m doing. But there aren’t enough. I still have to have a “survival” job, I still have to handle the business side of things solo, and I still feel as though I have no control over where I could be or what I’ll be doing tomorrow.

The economy isn’t helping any either. I went from having an average of 8 auditions a week to 2 a week (although I do have two today, so maybe things are looking up). And the fact that we’re still working without a SAG contract means that many people are now going with non-union actors instead of us unionized actors.

But I’m still trying to remain positive! I have very high hopes for the film that I’m currently in and am so excited for the two remaining days of shooting we have. I just hope that another satisfying project comes up again soon after.

In the meantime, I think I’ll make up my own detox. One that actually involves food.