Audition Feedback, Youth, and Going off on a Tangent

Getting feedback after auditions in always a difficult task. I, actually, love hearing feedback, whether it be good, bad or indifferent. (Damn, how many commas did I just use in that sentence?!?) But many casting directors are afraid to say anything (with good reason- there are plenty of "psycho" actors out there who go off the deep end if critiqued). This is why I was pleasantly surprised to find a way to get feedback after the casting is said and done.

There is an audition place here in LA called CATZ. When you audition at CATZ, the people take your audition, post it online for only you and the casting director to see, and ask the casting director for comments. It's awesome! Not only do you get unfiltered opinions from the casting director, but YOU get to see exactly what you did. For example, I never realized just how distracting it is that I move my head around so much when I act. I look like a little curious bobblehead monkey.

Anyway, the feedback I got on my audition was basically, "You were great- one of our favorites. But one of our collaborators didn't think you could pass for 18." Which I guess is a good thing . . . at least it wasn't within my control . . . but at the same time, why do I feel like it's my fault I don't look 18 anymore? It's this silly female mentality that we have to find the fountain of youth and if we don't then we become societal outcasts. But you know what? I think I look a helluva lot better now than I did when I was 18. My hair isn't all frizzy, I finally know how to put on eyeliner, and most of all I have confidence. When I was 18, my confidence was equivalent to how much a guy liked me or how many of my friends I could impress. Now I don't rely on anyone but myself for that. I've grown up. And I like it.

I feel like I'm about to start writing a self help book here so that's my cue to stop typing. That and I have to go re-paint my chipped fingernails so I can indeed actually look like the adult I am pretending to be. Have a great weekend everyone. I'll be getting into plenty of trouble myself;)