Walkin On A Cloud

(Me on the red carpet for the first time.)

What a surreal weekend. I was a bit nervous about my first red carpet premier. I wasn't really sure what to expect or what the scope of this thing would be. I went out to dinner with a few friends first, had a glass of wine to calm my nerves, and then headed over to the movie theatre. In NYC standards, this theatre was HUGE. I spotted it from far away with the title of my movie scrolling along on the marquee. Here we go, I thought. I was excited and nervous . . . and the night far exceeded my expectations.

I checked in my entourage of four friends and then made my way over to the red carpet entrance. I was ushered right to the front since I was the female lead in the movie and after a minute was sent right in. OMG. Six or seven paparazzi awaited me and as I began posing shouted: Over here! Right here love! Look at me! One over here! Just look over here! WTF. I just kept thinking, "this is so weird." I know, this is what movie stars deal with and all, but I never expected it this soon for such a low budget indie that I did. One of them commented, "Oh yeah, she's done this before." But, no I hadn't. Yes, I've modeled and been around countless cameras, but this was my first time on the red carpet. The only reason I looked like I knew what I was doing was from watching the red carpet entrances for awards shows from behind a TV since I was little.

Once that surreal and incredibly weird moment happened, I walked into the lobby of the theatre and was quickly grabbed for a TV interview. I have no idea what I said but I know I sounded scary because my voice has been lost for the past few days and whatever it was came out in strained croaks. But even so, I couldn't stop smiling. I was grinning from ear to ear. Even when I was on the red carpet I was smiling so much because I was actually laughing at how ridiculous this all was. Ridiculous in a good way. Ridiculous in the way that this is what I've always wanted and it is finally starting to happen. It felt amazing to be acknowledged for my work. I was walking on a cloud.

Once I got into the theatre where the movie was playing, I was surprised to find that it was almost completely packed. I still don't know who those people were or how they heard about the movie but it was full to the brim. Every time I came on screen I just started smiling again at the ridiculousness that I was actually the person up there on the gigantic screen. It was just so bizarre and so cool.

Afterwards, an agent came up to me and said that she thought I was actually English (I play an MI-6 agent in the film) and that I could get a lot of work. A few other people came up to me and for once I felt that I was the schmoozer instead of the schmoozee. (Or is that the other way around? Anyway, you get my point.) The afterparty was at a new spiffy club and tons of people from sports players to everyday Joes made an attempt to say hi. It was of course very cool but at the same time made me a bit sad for society, because these were people who would not have given me the time of day if they hadn't just seen my movie. The movie was also playing on some screens in the club and every time I came on, I grabbed my friend Catalano (who was up visiting from MD) and said, "look that's me, that's me!!!"

So, maybe I'm supposed to play this whole thing cool and act like it's no big deal to me, but it is. I feel that this is the beginning of something special. No, it wasn't a huge Hollywood premier with tons of celebs but it was a pretty big stepping stone that I will never forget. Now, it's time to come down from the clouds and be back in the real world . . . for now.