Freedom

The other day I was contemplating summer plans and was overcome by a sudden rush of freedom. It's stuck with me throughout the past couple days and it is an extremely calming and liberating feeling. For the first time in my life I don't have anything holding me back. I can do and go anywhere I want. I'm not in school, I'm not tied to a corporate job, I'm not in a relationship, and I don't have any kids. I do have a load of credit card debt (mainly from having to buy a car) but I'm hoping that will be paid off in the next two months. I can do whatever I want. That's freakin awesome.

Hollywood pretty much shuts down during the summer, so I can either stay here and just work at the bar (which is on the beach so I would make pretty damn good money), or I can travel somewhere. I can go back to NYC and maybe do a play. I can go visit family in Maryland, Boston, Ohio, and Detroit. I can go back to Ireland or France and visit friends there. Hell, I can go backpacking through Thailand by myself if I feel like it. The possibilities are endless. And the cool thing is that I don't have to decide now. The only deadlines I have are the ones I make myself.

The one act play that I wrote that is being performed in a month in NYC, is about how people in my generation beat ourselves up rushing to "make it" in our careers and in life. It's about how we need to slow down because before we know it we'll be older with even more responsibilities wondering what happened to our youth. We need to stop always being on the go and enjoy life instead of stressing so much. So that's what I'm doing. I've always felt so pressured to make it in acting by a certain age, but it's not going anywhere. Yeah, there are fewer roles for women as they get older, but there are also fewer actors. So I'm not going to stress about making it anymore. I'm just going with the flow. I'm taking my own advice for once. And it feels awesome.

If you need me I'll be by the beach. True, I'll probably be serving drinks, but it's still the beach nonetheless.