Neverland

Wow so my last blog entry seemed to have made quite an impression- both positive and negative. It's always hard putting yourself and all your vulnerabilities out there for the world to see. Sometimes I think I should just stick to writing about acting in this blog, but then I'll get an email from a stranger, or a call or text from a long lost friend thanking me for writing my feelings because they feel the exact same way. I used to feel the same way whenever I would read my good friend Glitterati's blog. It's always nice to feel that you're not alone in your thinking/feelings. Of course not everyone is going to be on the same page as you but that's life. And it's funny how many people here in LA have asked me to hang out since reading my last entry. Thanks guys for helping me get on my feet! Literally- thanks guys. Everyone that contacted me to chill was a male. Not that I'm complaining, I mean friends are friends. But step it up girls. I need some more estrogen in my life.

So I got a car. And I love it. I'm not sure what to name her. I was thinking "Stella" but that seems a bit overdone. We'll see. I bought her on my credit card (funny how I know she's a she), so she obviously wasn't too expensive . . . I mean it's no Cadillac. But it's all mine. I've already been out and about (though I have yet to tackle the highways) and I think she and I will get along just fine.

I had one audition today and have two tomorrow. It's great being a full time auditioner (no really, I actually love auditioning) . . . next step: book something. Things are going to work out just fine. I know it. I'm going to book something (fingers crossed) and then one day open up my own production company and vintage clothing store. (The Vintage store is a whole 'nother topic for a whole 'nother day, but is something that has long been in the works).

Wait . . . what was that? Did I just set a goal for myself? I think I did! Awesome! I have a five year plan! I always wanted to be a person with a five year plan but my life was always so crazy that I couldn't imagine the next week let alone the next year. Not that it's any less crazy now, but yay!

Oh good, I'm excited. So I know where I'll be in five years (well metaphysically anyway- I have no idea where I'll be physically located) and I know everything is going to work out. The glass has become half full.

* Literally while I was just finishing up this blog entry someone called me about my blog to tell me how inspiring it was. I asked him why he felt it was inspiring, because I don't write with that intention (though it's of course a nice side effect). But why would someone find my blog (especially the depressing entries from the past 3 months or so) inspiring? He said that it was because upon first meeting me, one would think that I have everything together. So it's nice to see that I am in fact human and I struggle too. And that inspires him. Interesting. Thanks Columbia. (That's your nickname in here M.R.)

So, it's been a good Monday. The glass is half full, I'm going on auditions, I have a car, and I'm on my way to becoming a real adult. . . Ok, honestly I need to drop that whole "becoming an adult" thing. It's been a common theme in my blog entries, and let's be honest- It's not going to happen. I'm never going to be a "normal" adult. And I don't want to.

I believe in Neverland.