Friday, October 30, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Aw Man, being sick totally sucks! I've had a weird stomach thing and horrible headache going on for three days now, and me being the hypochondriac that I am, think that maybe I have the Mumps. Why? Because it's going around in NYC. Someone brought it over from across the pond in England and I have ALL the symptoms. Of course, the symptoms are the same as for a cold but that's not nearly stressful enough for me.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Friday afternoon, I snuck out of MHDJ, made my way on the subway (which was an adventure as always since uptown trains were only going express and I of course was on a local track) to port authority. I rushed through the crowds down to the line going to Baltimore, waited impatiently in line, and finally plopped down in my seat with relief. I had decided that since I finally had a free Saturday I was going home to visit my pregnant bff Tee and soak in some fresh Maryland air. As soon as I got to my parent’s house I took a walk outside and laid in the backyard grass, starring up at the trees blowing in the wind.
What a difference four hours can make. The hustle and bustle of New York seemed worlds away as I felt a calm breeze blow over me and my whole body relax. Looking up into the sky, I pondered at how it is so much easier for me to have some kind of faith while in Maryland but not in NYC. I don’t know if it’s because my family is there or if it’s because it’s full of nature, but something akin to spirituality hit me that I would typically scoff at in New York. It was just a calm sort of happiness that I hadn’t felt in ages. I miss that. I love New York and think it’s an amazing city, but I think I ultimately need to find a place with nature. I want to have a front porch that I can swing on while sipping a glass of wine after dinner. I want a farm with goats and chickens and pet pigs, dogs, and cats. More than any of that though, I want to act so that pretty much limits me to Connecticut or the mountains of California.
Seeing my oldest friend pregnant was surprisingly not weird. I know it was exactly what she’s always wanted and she is at a perfect place in her life and I am so happy for her. It's easy to compare myself to others (especially via facebook) and wonder if I should be doing similar things at this point in my life. But that’s not for me. Neither is remodeling a house like my other bff from highschool, getting married, or thinking about retirement funds. And you know what? I’m ok with that. One day maybe I'll have the house and the kids and all that stuff but right now I like never knowing what's happening day to day, meeting up with friends on random nights, living in sin, and living this crazy dream. Maybe people may think I'm delaying grown up life, but who cares. I like it.
And speaking of "the dream," I woke up in the wee hours of the morning on Sunday to rush back on a bus to nyc for the first day of filming my "gatekeeper" role. I'm really liking this whole white wig and fishnets thing.
One day relaxing in Maryland and the next wearing crazy clothes and telling someone they can't enter eternity until they find their soul. Yeah, I'm pretty happy at the moment.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Thursday night I took an awesome class with Bob Lambert, the casting director of under 5's (under 5 lines) for All My Children. Now, I usually don't use people's real names in this blog but I will with Bob because he’s amazing- and I kinda think we’re kindred spirits but I’ll leave that for another time. I highly recommend taking his class if you're interested in getting into soaps at all. He spent an hour basically talking about the audition process and shooting schedule for soaps because they are so different than regular TV shows. Then he screen-tested the whole class and critiqued us and then we watched our performances. And do you know what his comment was for mine? "Wow, that was great!" . . . wait for it . . . wait for it . . . "You just have this natural evilness that is really fun to watch!"
I smiled and thanked him and sat back down in my chair wondering if it is true that I am naturally evil. I mean, I don't think I am, but what if I am? Do evil people know that they're evil? Or are they people like me, unsuspecting of their darker nature until someone else points it out to them? I decided that no, I'm not naturally evil, I'm just a good actress. . . although that could be a cop out for further self psychological probing. I also left wondering if people who aren’t good actors even know it. Because to be honest, I’ve taken a couple classes where there are a few actors who are pretty horrid, and the teacher doesn’t even mention it. Could I be one of those people? I mean someone would have mentioned it by now, right? RIGHT?!?!?
No wonder actors are so crazy. Our business relays so heavily on sense of self. That and the chances of getting a contract role on a soap are 1 in 40,000.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Update to the previous post- I booked BOTH jobs that I auditioned for last Tuesday! woot woot! The other is a fun web series about a bunch of 20 somethings trying to live their dreams in NYC. I play the girl that sleeps her way to the top (and before the question even pops into your head- no I am nothing like her in that regard!) I haven't done a webseries yet and am excited to be part of the current movement in the entertainment industry as everyone moves toward TV on the web.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Yesterday I had two auditions, 1 for a feature film and 1 for a web series. After both auditions I shook my head wondering if I'm rusty, out of "acting" shape if you will. Like I've mentioned it's been extremely slow lately. I've never had this few of auditions, even when I first moved here. Damn economy needs to bounce back soon!
So, anyway back to my yin and yang, my balancing act of light and dark. I just received a phone call from the feature film audition yesterday and I booked it!!!! Woohoo!!!!! My part is only being shot over a time span of 3 or 4 days but that is 3-4 days where I get paid to do what I love. And when I do, I feel like I am the luckiest girl in the world. That is what makes the horrible days worth it. It may seem like there are more dark days than good, but the light of the good outshines the dark in a powerful way.
Umm yeah did I mention that my new character is the gatekeeper to "Eternity?" I think I'm already speaking in her terms. Expect some very philosophical entries for the next month :)