Not Just an Ordinary Grilled Cheese

I love how people in restaurants make such a big deal about a person eating alone. "Are you just one?" Yes. "So, you're alone?" Yes, I'm pretty sure we just established that. "Well, we only have big tables in here. Maybe there's a smaller table outside. Jose! Are there any small tables?" "For how many?" "Just one. She's alone!" Perfect. Thank you for yelling to the entire restaurant that I am in fact, completely alone. Not that I mind being alone. I actually need and crave it at times. But that doesn't mean I want an entire restaurant staring at me like I'm some kind of crazed zoo animal.

So there I was, writing in my journal and enjoying a healthy feast of grilled cheese, when I couldn't help but eavesdrop on the conversation next to me. It was a man and woman in their 40's talking about how they just realized their happiness couldn't be tied to how many auditions they went on or how many gigs they booked. I recently realized this myself, so of course I jumped into the conversation. They told me I'm 20 years ahead of my time so I'm on the right track, but that I'll still be struggling with the concept with I'm 40. Great. Sounds awesome.

But it was cool talking to people older than me in my profession. It felt validating in a weird way. And of course, I love talking to strangers. I'm addicted to studying human behavior and observing how people walk, talk, and interact with others vs. how they act alone. Marcia Cross, was supposedly a working psychologist after her long time partner passed away, and I think that's a big part of why she's such a great actress. She studied human behavior at the root. She observed people at their rawest.

See how much I learned by eating alone today? And that's the thing about New York. Even when you're by yourself, you're never truly alone.