Meh

I woke up suddenly and can't go back to sleep. I think it's a combo of a lot of things. Particularly an awful "casting" I went to today. I use the word casting lightly because I'm pretty sure it was just some young dude on a power trip who didn't actually have anything to cast. The way he was talking to the girls in front of me was awful. I almost left. I should have left. But I "interviewed" anyway and wouldn't let him break me down like he did the others. And he did not like that. Nope not at all. I'm not even going to go into the awful things he said to me.

I'm so tired of this lifestyle. I just want a peaceful life. My soul is getting too old and wary to continue living my life like I'm still 25.

Because I'm not anymore.

I just don't want any drama in my life. I want to somehow exterminate all the fake assholes in this business that waste our time just because they know they can get a bunch of pretty girls into a room if they hold a "casting." And I want my freaking ankle to heal. It's been a month since I sprained it and it's absolutely killing me now. I want to be able to wear heels again. And I'm tired of living in a tiny crappy dust and cat hair filled apartment that feels like it's going to collapse with every truck that drives by. I want a house. I want a yard. I want a garden that I can grow fresh vegetables in.

Ok, I know I'm just whining now. I'm usually a glass filled half way kinda gal, but this morning I feel a big load of emotional crap.

Meh.