My Love Letter to Tina Fey

Just got a call to do stand in work tomorrow on 30 Rock for Jane Krokowski and the other blonde. I usually tend to shy around any kind of extra or stand in work because it just depresses me but I said yes without hesitation to this because I think 30 Rock may just be the best thing since sliced bread. And I love Kenneth. And as a stand in, sometimes you get to say the characters lines during rehearsal. Don't get me wrong, no one can play Jenna Maroney better than Jane Krokowski, but I'm not above dreaming of brilliantly saying a line like no other actor ever has and them saying, "Oh my goodness, we have to create a contract role for her! She's incredible! We should bow to her and her amazingness! Tina! Tina, get over here and write her in the show!"

Hey, a girl's gotta dream. But in all seriousness I will just be honored to be on a set of a show that Tina Fey created. She's kinda an idol to me. A far away mentor if you will. I don't think there is another single show on TV that I feel that way about. I LOVE YOU TINA! I LOOOOVE YOU!!!!

Maybe I should keep that last part to myself.

Too Tired

PS: I was totally on TV the other day being interviewed and while I was waiting for it to begin I FELL ASLEEP.

Yeah, I missed it. I think this is a sign that I need to calm down a bit and take it easy. Either that, or it was really bad and it's a good thing I didn't see it.

The Other Woman

My Mom just sent me an email wondering where in the world I was because I haven't been blogging :) I'm fine, just getting over a stomach virus. I sure hope I get my appetite back before Thanksgiving because I plan on eating copious amounts of pumpkin pie. In the meantime, I will leave you with a photo project that I participated in: Sandra Rodriguez MyArtSpace

I make such a good woman's other woman. ;)

Coffee Costs 99 Cents

I just saw a casting that offered "coffee" as payment. People aren't even paying with real food anymore. Ayiyiy. My photoshoot yesterday went great. I can't wait to see the pictures. Ok, not much more going on here today. I have an audition later today for a webseries about flirting with guys. I'm pretty sure this one'll be simple ;)

Now is the Winter of Our Discontent

(Ok, I know it's not winter quite yet but just go with it.)

To say I've been confused about life lately is an understatement. I've been saying for awhile that some sort of change is happening but I guess that change is coming from within me, not necessarily outside forces. I think part of my recent discontent is that though I've done dozens of indie films, I have yet to see a completed one that I proud of my performance in. I am never satisfied with my work when I see it onscreen. There is always something more I could have done or something I shouldn't have done at all. I guess it's like that with any artist though . . . your work never seems to be complete.

I also think that I need to find a hobby. Because constantly obsessing over my next gig is driving me crazy. So . . . rock climbing? Sky diving? Adopting a billion kittens in my tiny apartment? I need something . . .

And on that note, I have to go get ready for a photoshoot. Should be fun. I play a lesbian flirting with another girl in a bar. I'm actually friends with the girl I'll be flirting with so I'm sure good times and hilarity will ensue. And with that, I will leave you with a little tidbit of a conversation between me and my friend, N at MHDJ on Friday:

ME: I just love when people insult my intelligence. News Flash: I'm actually pretty smart.

N: It's because you are an actress and in the old days they were dumb prostitutes.

And scene.

I Talk Too Much

I had an interview for the JacBoxer show today at New York's Public Access Station. Not knowing what to prepare for, I went in with an open mind. He asked me questions about being an actress, actors I look up to, early childhood experiences, and even sports. (Why does everyone ask me about sports whenever I'm interviewed??? Is it just so they can make fun of my teams? Redskins/Orioles.) Another common topic in recent interviews has been my love life: What do I look for in a man, what relationship am I in now, and have I ever had a French boyfriend (how the hell did they know to ask that?!?!)

Anyway, those of you who know me personally know that I have this mouth. I talk and talk and talk. And most of the time I'm talking when I shouldn't. When I'm nervous, my natural reaction isn't to shut up like most people, it's to spurt out word vomit. I even had a monologue in high school titled, "I talk too much." So, for the second time in two weeks, I have no idea what I said in another interview. The magic is all in the editing, so let's hope they edit together the less embarrassing points.

On a totally separate note- I have the cutest cats in the entire world. Jimmy is curled up with me right now purring like a madman. I don't know what I'm going to do without them in LA. After all, no matter what else happens, they don't care how much I talk.

I Need a Steak

(I forced the BF and a couple friends to carve pumpkins with me before Halloween)

I was talking to a friend this weekend who was up from Baltimore and she mentioned how she would love to move to New York but not until she could afford the lifestyle she wanted. That got me thinking. When I first moved here, I loved being the starving actress. The brooding misunderstood artist. The one throwing caution to the wind for a dream that I would make come true. I didn’t care that I had no retirement plan or that I was eating Ramin noodles or cereal every night for dinner, (although that changed once the BF moved up because he keeps me well fed). I felt like I was the luckiest person in the world because I knew what I wanted and was going after that.

I still feel lucky, but I am getting over this whole poor thing. In truth, it’s becoming quite a drag. It’s getting old having to make up excuses as to why I can’t go out with my better off friends in order to avoid having that awkward money conversation (Remember that episode of “Friends” where money -or lack there of in Joey and Phoebe’s case- almost broke up their friendship? Yeah, not gonna let that happen). I want to go out for a good steak now and then, but with the downfall of the economy and sheer lack of acting gigs, that hasn’t happened in a long while. Of course, a lot of this could be avoided by moving back to Brooklyn or Queens, but I quite like my village apartment. . . I just wish it didn’t have a leaky ceiling and mold problem.

Anyway, I’m not quite sure what my point is here. Just that somethings got to give. I’m getting too old to still be giving home-made presents at Christmas time or to be squeezing under the subway turnstiles when no ones looking. I find that the people who love New York the most are the ones who have money to enjoy it. So, I’m sending it out into the universe- I’m ready for something big. Let’s do this thing. It’s time to get the ball rolling. I just can't make steak the way restaurants do.