INT BAR. TWO SHOT: Two girls are eagerly awaiting their order of buffalo wings. They are not quite sure why they’ve ordered said buffalo wings as neither one likes them very much but it seems like a good idea at 2 am. They are giddy with anticipation. BARTENDER enters and sets steaming basket of saucy wings in between the two girls at the bar. Mouths drooling, E and K are about to go for it when RANDOM DRUNK GIRL pushes her way through the crowd.
RDG: Oooooh, chicken wings! (With lightening speed she dives in with both hands and sloshes the sauce all over everything.)
E and K stare at each other, too stunned to speak. RDG licks her fingers and begins to dive in again.
K: Umm, excuse me. Do we know you?!?!
RDG: (Pauses) No, I don’t think so. (Starts to dive in again)
K goes into animal instinct food protection mode, stands up and grabs the basket of wings close to her.
K: These are our wings! Go get your own!
RDG saunters off completely unfazed.
This weekend turned into one big drinking fest. Ever since moving to the East Village three weeks ago, I have reclaimed my title of Social Butterfly. It is just too easy to step outside my apartment and walk to whichever bar holds the promise of fun and friends. Anyway, I need to cool it for a couple days- I can’t afford to keep going out every night and I’m sure my liver would appreciate the break as well. During my recent shenanigans, I have witnessed a lot of animal instinctive behavior, not only in bars, but also in the streets, on the subway, and even at auditions.
I had an agent “meet and greet” this Saturday where I met 5 Legit agents and 5 Commercial agents. (For those of you unfamiliar with the showbiz terms- “Legit” means Film/TV/Theatre. It’s from the days when commercial acting wasn’t considered real acting so agents who didn’t do commercials were considered legit.) Anyway, these events are for actors to get “advice and feedback” from agents since technically paying for an audition is illegal, but we all know what it really is. We all go in hopes that the agents will love us and hope to sign us asap. This rarely happens, but it does happen enough to give the rest of us hope.
My auditions all went pretty well with the exception of one. I’m not going to go into too many details here because even though this blog is technically anonymous, I don’t want the wrong person to find out I’m writing about this. Let’s suffice it to say that some older female agents tend to not like me very much. I noticed this about a year ago and just tried to ignore it. But this weekend’s audition was a blatant hate fest for anything young, skinny, and blonde. I think that some people don’t even realize they are doing this. It’s another type of animal instinct. They feel that their domain is being threatened. They want you to bow to their power and nervously forget your lines, and when you don’t, they hate you for it.
I need to find a gay male agent. Someone who loves me for being a girl but won’t try to sleep with me. And who hopefully won’t steal my wings- literally or figuratively.
PS- Those were the best wings I've ever had. Devoured may be a more appropriate word- Brother Jimmy's on Lex and 31st.
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Welcome to the East Village, Erin. I've been here for about 2.5 years, and it's hard not to be a drunken mess all the time. My first six months here with no job were brutal.
ReplyDeleteI was actually at Brother Jimmy's on Friday night, except this one was in Puerto Rico. We didn't really wanna go, 'cause who really wants US style BBQ in Puerto Rico, but they had a mechanical bull my friends just *had* to ride. Decent BBQ for sure.
- Scott