Down and Out

I finally did myself in. Tuesday afternoon the “fever” I had felt coming on descended upon me full force. Tuesday night was awful- everything hurt. Wednesday morning was worse. Part of me thought that I had contracted meningitis from being practically barefoot in Times Square and I was going to die. Begrudgingly, I called sick into the part time job, canceled four auditions, and pulled on some old jeans to head to the doctors. I took one look at myself in the mirror and immediately put a baseball cap on so I wouldn’t frighten small children.

Note to self- some things are worth splurging on (ie taxi when you feel like you’re dying) and some are not (ie weekly sale at Urban Outfitters). Ok, maybe both are worth splurging on, but neither got my attention as I blindly made my way the 5 blocks to the subway on Wednesday morning. Since moving to Manhattan, I’ve had to cut down a lot on expenses and one of those has been not taking cabs as often, but oh how I wish I had yesterday. The train came right away thank god, but there were no seats. No seats. Let me paint you a picture- you know how sometimes you see those cracked out people talking to themselves on the streets or on the subway platform and they can barely stand up without hanging onto something? That was me yesterday. And I was hugging the subway pole for dear life while high pitched whining noises whisked up from my throat. If anyone ever sees anyone like that on the subway, please my good fellows! Give the person you’re seat! For they may not be a cracked out villagers- they could very well be the one infecting the whole subway car with strep throat!

Yes, that is correct. I have strep throat. After journeying to the doctors, Duane Reade to fill my prescription, and then up the four flights of stairs to my apartment I immediately passed out on the couch with my coat and boots still on. I remember having strep when I was little, but I don’t remember it being like this. Everything hurts. The inside of my bones hurt. I have been camped out at home now for over 24 hours and though I still feel like complete and utter shit, I no longer believe I am dying. This thing really knocked me off my feet. And I’m more upset about missing four auditions than anything else. Acting doesn’t care if you’re sick. There will always be someone else to take your part. But honestly, even if I had made it to the auditions without passing out, I would have been god awful- raspy voice, pausing every 30 second to spit out junk, unwashed hair, no makeup . . . it would have been frightful. Some things are just not meant to be.

Ok, writing this entry has completely taken the wind out of my sails so I’m going back to sleep. I hope you all are healthy and out loving life today. Because when something like this sneaks up on you . . . it makes you realize how great your normal healthy life is. Live it up people. Live it up.